How do we make space for more in our life? I heard something so simple yet powerful at church this weekend. The speaker reminded us that in times of economic crisis and in times of flourish, there was not more money available, it was simply the flow of money that was changing. During times of flourish, money is moving freely among people so more can enjoy it and in times of crisis this flow slows to a standstill. I thought about how much that message applies to my own life.
I'm not a person that likes to share my friends. I don't like group dinners, I don't celebrate my birthday with a large party. I prefer special one on one time with each of my friends. This not only allows me to connect with them but it also prevents them from connecting with each other. When I think of the friendships that I have now with women that I met through other friends, I realize how foolish this thinking was. If others has been selfish with me about their friends and network, I would missed out on some great advice, laughs and love.
The same can be said of my closet. I used to hoard beautiful things. Anytime I went shopping and saw something amazing - I had to have it. I started to have a closet full of outfits for events that didn't exist yet. "Oh this is perfect for a wedding." "I can wear this to the opera." "I love these shoes for a (insert dress I don't own)". Then one day I realized nearly half my clothes had tags and I still woke up every day and said "I don't have anything to wear." Now every time I get rid of things, better things take their place. When cleaning out my black leather jackets (of which I had 10), I realized I had the perfect 4 and got rid of the other 6. Now when I shop I ask myself is this thing better than everything I already own to the point that I have nothing like it.
Lastly, don't forget about your heart. I have held on to relationships with men that needed to go far too many times. I didn't date for years after my first big love because I was "waiting" for him to come to his senses. I wonder what experiences I missed out on waiting for a man that wasn't thinking about me. When I stopped dating to find "The One" I had more dates than I had available social time. I didn't care about date #2 or if this man was going to be my husband. I was simply enjoying their company. This freedom gave me an abundance of male company.
Getting rid of things that no longer serve you creates abundance. You cannot get more of what you really want if your heart, mind and closet are cluttered with things you don't need. In fact, I am off to clean out my closet again (a new nearly monthly activity for me) and divide into my three piles - Tradesy, Crossroads Trading or Donate. A Buddhist principle to remember is "The Root of Suffering is Attachment." Don't hold on so tight because your hand has to be open to receive.